The choice of two
Ashley White
Writing 241
Sam couldn’t decide whether or not to leave her hair down or to pull it up for her date. It wasn’t as if it was a major deal or anything; they were just going to the movies. Yet no matter what Sam did to her hair she wasn’t satisfied, either looking too casual or too formal, never the right balance in-between. And considering that Sam had never been on a real date before, this was a “change life as we know it” decision, at least in her fourteen year old eyes.
“Can’t decide on a hair do?” her nineteen year old sister said coming up behind her. Sam sighed and turned to her sister, “Yep”.
“Do you a little help?”
“You think you can do better Cheese breathe?!” Sam retorted, not out of spit for her sister but out of frustration with her hair.
“I know I can do better Pipsqueak!” Her sister fired back and then, without another word, gently took the brush out of her younger sister’s hair and began to work her magic. “So, it’s Darrell that you’re going out with?” Sam began to nod but she realized that it would probably mess up the work her sister was doing with her hair. “Yes.” Is all she said then.
“But I thought that you said that you liked Connor?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes it does, and you know it Sam! If you like Connor still it would be wrong to go out with Darrell, especially if you’re just trying to make Connor jealous.”
“I’m not trying to make Connor jealous!”
“Then what gives?”
Sam shrugged. It wasn’t that she didn’t still like Connor Bradley, because she had the hugest crush on him. No, to say that it was just a crush would do injustice, Sam adored Connor.
“Darrell is a nice guy.”
“But if you still have as strong of feelings for Connor as I think you do, hell, you can see that you’re obsessed with him from space! And to go out with someone else when you have such feelings for Connor would just be wrong!”
Sam knew that this was true. Darrell was a great guy. She wasn’t really meaning to lead him on, especially since he had the same sort of crush on her as Sam had on Connor. But Darrell was the only guy who had asked her out or showed any sort of an interest in her.
“It’s not like Connor will ever ask me out.”
“You don’t know that for certain Sam.” Her sister said setting down the brush. ‘Wow’ Sam couldn’t help but think. Somehow, her sister was able to take the mess that was her hair and make it nice, not going to a wedding or prom nice, but still nice in its own way. Not that she would ever admit it to her sister. “You don’t know what is going through his head.”
“He has a girlfriend.”
“Even so, is it really right for you to lead Darrell on like that? I thought that he was your friend. How would you feel if Connor asked you out but really had feelings for another girl?”
At that moment the doorbell rang, causing both sisters to jump. It turned out to be Darrell. As Sam was about to walk out the door her sister whispered to her “ I know that it’s your mistake to make sis, but please think about what I said.” And as Sam walked out the door, she couldn’t help but think that her sister was right.
Where to begin, Ashley.
ReplyDelete1. As I have expressed to you before, dictionaries and Spell-check are great writing tools. However, I will admit that I have noticed some improvement in your conventions over the term. I would have liked you to have put more concentrated effort into your sentencing skills. Do make it a personal goal to learn how to use commas and semi-colons. You want others to take your thoughts and writing seriously.
2. I like the sisterly connection you capture and I wonder if this was influenced by your own family. However, I am old fashioned, offended by a "14-year-old" whose idea of fun is to make another boy jealous. I don't care if this mimics real life (however, I am offended by the parent whose lack of common sense will allow the 14-year-old girl to go on an unattended date.) I want our 14-year-old girl literary protagonists to model better thoughts, worthier concerns, fewer shallow "objective" behaviors. T.V. shows that have glamorized the sexually aware 14-year-old girl has already done a good job reducing the mindset of our adolescents. Good literature needs to do better. Good literature honors the complex between young and adult age place of our adolescents. I know 20-something girls who behave this way because that is what has been modeled; I know intelligent 14-year-olds who would be offended by this representation of their gender and age group. Write to the later.
Because tween female protagonists and adolescent romance has been the subject matter that you have been exploring all term, I would like to see you take Christina Alexander's Tuesday Women's Literature course! This will affect, bring up the caliber in your writing in an amazing manner.
It has been a pleasure getting to know you Ashley.